Sunday, February 9, 2014


Ready to get this weight loss thing going. I realize I have goals and this sitting on my butt everyday doing pretty much nothing is not going to get my goals reached or my dreams realized. Time for things to change!

  • I was accepted into Manchester Business School and I've already accepted my spot in the program. I start in September after my 26th birthday. Never mind fat... I WILL NOT start another school year OBESE. I refuse. 

  • I will get another job and save. save. save. I don't need to be stressing about money. Also, will do my best to find more money for school through scholarships and loans.

  • I will eat a salad everyday if I have to, but I WILL control my eating.

  • I will remain active, whether it's through my new love: snowboarding, or through DDPYOGA, or Wii fit, or dancing embarrassingly in my room for an hour. I will lose to win.

  • I will go for it even if no one believes me.

SO! That's a lot of "I wills" to stand by, but I'm ready to go for this! I am ready to stop sitting by and watching others do what I want to do. I'm ready to do it myself and surpass any expectations set for me. I am ready. Are you?

Friday, February 7, 2014

Fat Girl Snowboarding!

Please enjoy me falling on my butt while attempting to snowboard for the first time. Video includes: falls, laughter, crashing, and small victories in life. Description below video:

So I've always wanted to snowboard. I don't know why I just always thought it looked really fun and basically like skateboarding on snow. Of course, I don't skate board, but that is something I always wanted to do. My only experience there was a couple failed attempts at an ollie with a cheap walmart board many years ago.

A couple weeks ago I was in the local thrift store and saw a couple of snowboards. Many of them were cheaper children's ones, but there were two actual boards. I wanted to get it, but held back for some reason. After telling my dad about it (who likes playing in the snow as much as I do) he said that we need to go up there and get one.

Now it doesn't have the bindings and I don't have snowboard boots, so it's not the safest set up, but I couldn't help it. I don't have money for that stuff, but I will keep a look out for a good deal. Anyway, my dad used some straps to attach me to the board and at first he pulled me around on the snowmobile. It was really hard and let me tell you I was sore the next day!

What I really wanted to do though was go down the hill around the back of the house where we usually sled. We haven't actually went sledding this year, since we don't have anymore sledding equipment. They finally gave out on us last year. Back to the snowboarding: There was a lot of snow at first, but I managed to break through and start going down the hill. I mostly fell, but it was fun!

The next day I crashed into a tree... Yeah that hurt and I was limping for days. To be honest, I don't think my big toe has quite fully healed. Regardless the next weekend I was getting strapped back into the snow board and going down the hill. On the next to last run of the day, my dad had just driven me back up the hill on the atv and I was about to make the journey around the house when I said, "I don't think I'm ever going down this hill all the way." Wouldn't you know it? That was the run I made it down the hill! I couldn't help but throw my hands up in victory.

It's been too cold to go back out and I can't really go out during the week since I need my dad here to strap me in, but I am eagerly waiting for another chance to go down the hill again. Would like to build up my balance on the board.

I did this because I didn't have any excuse not to anymore. I've always been the one to sit and watch people do things on TV that looked like fun and made me want to do it, but I never did. Well I did it now. I mean I may have done it sloppy and whatnot, but I did it.

What is something you've always wanted to do but haven't as of YET?!

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Still here

I'm here and fatter than ever. Well not fatter than ever, but just as fat as I've always been. What little I lost, I've since gained and a few more. Need to get my shit together. And quick. Have a few things to update on other than weight and will do that in a fuller post soon. Just not right this second. : )

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Job and Stuff

Went to employment office for this company I used to do line work at. I really don't want to do line work, but went in hoping they had something else. The only thing they really had was a temporary position (meaning I'll get laid off after the holidays) prepping labels basically and then if my work finished early for the day I would have the opportunity to do line work to make up the hours. Not exciting and not what I wanted, but at least I'll be doing something else besides line work for most of the time. They offered it to me right there after the interview, so I went ahead and took it. Still looking for other work though. I also got a call for a clothing store near me I applied to online, wanting to set up an interview on Sat. I believe it is a sales associate position, so just your basic job. I don't know though. I really wanted to stay away from sales : (

Anyway, I am at least one step closer to things working out. I just need to work, which doesn't start till the 18th! Then I will save up the money to accept the offer to the master's program. Now that I can somewhat stop stressing about the job thing, I really need to revamp my exercising, as in I need to start exercising. I'm really starting a new life here, or trying to, and I'm just not going to be successful or happy without being the whole person I want to be. So if anyone has any tips, I'm always open to them!

This is what I plan on doing:

Getting back to what has worked for me before:
1 hour treadmill everyday, keeping it fresh with music and different speeds and difficulty
watching what I eat (more veggies and salads)

Then working in the new:
DDPYoga, I am so not giving up on this DDPYoga. I know it's the right thing for me.

I just need to keep motivated and stick to the program!

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Merry Ole England

Well I got accepted to that Master's program in England I applied for. Now if I can come up with the money then I will be going there in less than a year. Let's hope I can pull that bit off.

Weight. Seriously need to get started on that again, like now. No more time to waste.

Job and weight loss are things that I need to focus on.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Great News, lots of work

I love it when good things happen to people in my life. When they are happy I tend to be happy. Two of my dear friends are getting married. Well, not to each other. I've known them around the same time and that has been since 2008. One of them, who I refer to as my sister usually, has asked me to be her Maid of Honor. Now... I usually don't get all choked up about happy things. Usually, I think it's awesome and will say so, but everything else I keep inside. It's probably best for all that way. Maybe it's because I received the news in a text and I was alone on my end, that I felt comfortable enough to be visually stunned, speechless, and teary-eyed. Of course I said yes. I love my sister.

So I have two friends getting married and hopefully a Masters program in England to do next year. That's all awesome and a lot needs to get done on my end before then. For the Masters: I need to apply (got everything including the application ready to go, just waiting on my references!), find a lot of money, lose weight, and get everything else done required for studying abroad after I'm accepted... hopefully. For both weddings, I need to find money for airfare and other things, keep an eye out for deals, and fit in dresses, especially the maid of honor one. What do these things have in common? Money and weight loss.

Regarding the weight: Now, I realize in the end my presence is the main thing. I would, however, like to be all there for my beautiful friends and not worry about being uncomfortable. Besides that, it's going to be better for my overall physical and mental health if I am not thousands of miles away from home feeling like shit about myself.

Regarding the money: I need a job. I need scholarships. Those two things are pretty much occupying my days right now, except for various errands. I am not seeing much, but I'm still looking and I have decided to go into a staffing service next week to see if they can hook me up anywhere at least temporarily. I am also going to go and turn my resume in at my old job, just not for the same work. I would love to do that part online, but its system is a bastard and won't work for me and they don't believe in email apparently. Can you tell I am hoping I find work elsewhere?

As for scholarships I am looking everyday and applying for every dollar I seem to qualify for, but most of them are those random ones you enter and hope you win. It's a little awkward for me as I am not a CURRENT student. I am also not from an underdeveloped country or a race other than white. I am still poor and need money for school however. #1stworldproblems? Yes, I think so. Still, I'm hoping to randomly discover a list somewhere of random scholarships/grants/whatnot that I randomly qualify for and have an awesome chance of winning. Now that's not too much to ask for is it?

Plan of attack: Continue looking for jobs and loose money. Get my butt of the chair every once in awhile and work out, but not stuffing my face full of unhealthy stuff. That'll work right?

Monday, October 7, 2013


I wonder how many futures we have....

Anyway I'm still here. Not currently doing any programs or being too proactive about the weight loss. I know, I know. I fail, but then I'm used to that. I will not, however, give up under any circumstances. Whatever future I have, I am determined to have it be a healthy one.

I've been thinking about what I want to do future wise and I know I want to have my own business someday and I know that I want to fulfill some need. So I've been trying to look into that path and have decided to apply to a masters program overseas. I don't know if it'll work out or if I will even get in, but it doesn't hurt to try. It also doesn't hurt to have another thing to motivate me and keep me moving forward.

So I hope everyone is doing well and blogging! I will try and keep updating. Right now I am visiting my Alma Mater for the week. I have access to the gym, so will go to that at least twice while I am here (or at least that is what I am telling myself).